day three {at the close -- rachel}

{via pinterest}

it's day three. almost the end of the day, actually.

and i'm at 11,048 words.

i'm not sure if i should break into cheers or copious sobs.

being this far ahead is incredibly frightening for me. my first year, i wrote 50,056 words. 20,000 of them were written in the last four days of November. last year, i barely scraped 30,000 in a month's time.

and now, i'm so far ahead in less than 72 hours.

and i'm elated. 

and petrified. 

in three days, Cut Loose has changed more than i ever imaged possible.

my lead character's name has changed from Caitlyn to Naimh.

what was once a magic-less story now has a complicated weaving of mages and a complete magical system revolving around the Elements and colour.

government has arisen and a monetary system has been invented. there are maps and geography where once there was blank paper.

it's a prism of light, an ever-changing thing.

at this point in  your novel, is it turning out the way you want it to? i suppose so. i'm honestly not sure; i didn't have a whole lot planned in the beginning, so i'm letting my characters run the show a bit for now. 

have your characters had any big turning points yet? definitely! Niamh's character has been tested three times now; her love has now been ripped away from her, and she is about to be married off to a man who is more deadly than she knows just yet. i'm scared for her, actually. she's strong, though, thank God.  

{via pinterest}

have any characters met their significant other in the book yet? oh, yes. they were together from the beginning of the book! 

what are your future goals for your novel this month (besides word goals)? i think it'd be very nice if my characters would start behaving themselves just a bit. i've let them run the show, yes, but even they need to reign it in just a bit. magic is dangerous, and Fire is the most dangerous element of all. 

current playlist: a combination of Howard Shore and Regina Spektor stations on Pandora, as well as a steady stream of Gilmore Girls on the DVD player. 

caffeine intake: high. extremely high. M&Ms and Dr. Pepper rank high on the list

latest night thus far: midnight, so far. but i'm pretty sure that a 2am bedtime will be down the road shortly. 

any emotional breakdowns: does crying count? and having to get up and leave the computer a lot to avoid editing? then yes. 

curious as to how the poet in me is handling this journey? then check out my two most recent personal blogposts here and here. 

-blessings abound,

rachel

first person shoes

i obsess over first person.

i've written three "books." two were first person. one was third.

the first person books are my compilations of OCD and too much thought. i struggle through them, tears drip down onto torn pages of frustration and overly furled browlines.

but i know why. it's because i don't want my voice in amid the fiction.

not even a note.

i don't know why i refuse to let my own voice slip into the mind of my characters. maybe because i'm too afraid of what might come out, what truths about me i might accidentally let into the open air.

i don't want to be the one to fill these empty shoes. 

but i'm steering away from this fear.  bit by fragile bit.

it's from reading a book. one thousand gifts by Ann Voskamp. she makes this thing of first person so simple. or maybe so hard yet made effortless by the voice of the King.

either way.

she pours herself out. 

yes, this volume is non-fiction and tells of truthful events and heartcries, not created characters. but yet the richness is still there.

she makes me think i can do this, truthfully. maybe with fiction, i can make it a little less fictional and a little more real. because this is real life after all.

naught but truth and honesty found here anymore.

so my fiction will be real. my real life will be through the filter of ancient days and past events that never truly came about.

but isn't that what we do here?

isn't that novelling, after all?

~blessings abound,

rachel